"So you do this, and then you do that!"
Trixie exclaimed in a whisper as she bent over the thick
textbook. It may have been a break-through in her
understanding of chemistry, but she decided that it
wasn't worth running the risk of waking the four-year
old sleeping in the next room. She had already read
Sleeping Beauty three times that evening, and
it was quickly gaining on Peter Rabbit in her
list of stories to avoid reading to any children that
she might have one day.
With the problem solved, and surprisingly
corresponding with the answer her professor had given,
she decided that she deserved a break and put down her
pencil. A glance at the clock told her that it would
still be two hours before she could go home, so she
poured a glass of the strawberry soda her employer kept
on hand for her. After quickly checking on Erica, she
took her drink and curled up in the window seat in the
living room.
Snow was falling heavily outside, and she reached for
the afghan that she knew his mother had crocheted. Snug
and warm under the soft navy blue wool, she sighed
wistfully at the sheer coziness she felt there. It
wasn't the tiny house, or even the warmth of the
blanket, but it was the child sleeping a few feet away,
and to her dismay, she knew it was the man she had known
for so long now.
"How has it come to this?" she wondered, a
single tear slipping down her cheek. In so many ways, it
had been easier to see him as the stern authoritarian,
the one she could always count on for a lecture. There
had been moments, even way back then, that revealed a
glimpse of the person behind the uniform, but when all
was said and done, he had been one of them, one
of those trying to put an end to her dream.
"But that wasn't true," she reflected,
letting her mind wander back to the day that had been
somewhat of a turning point in her life.
"What do you think you were doing?" he snapped
impatiently, turning only to glare at the thief in the
back of the patrol car. "You could have been
killed!"
It had, indeed, been a close call, and she
blinked back hot tears. She sternly told herself that
she would not let him make her cry as she
mentally braced herself for yet another lecture.
"Someone had to stop him, Sergeant!"
"Trixie, how many times have I told you to stay
out of police business?" He lowered his tone and she
knew he had seen the tears. "Look, it's for your own
good. Do you think I want to explain to your parents
or to the Wheelers that I've let you or Honey be
injured or killed?"
"But I couldn't let him get away! Look at what
he did to Mrs. de Keyser! That money was everything
she has left!"
"You should have called me and we would have
handled it!"
She barely managed to refrain from making a
sarcastic comment, so she decided to remain silent.
She knew nothing she could say would make a
difference, anyway. But when he mentioned her lack of
training, she spoke up. "Then why don't you
train me?"
"It doesn't work that way," he sighed
impatiently. "You graduate. Go to college. Go through
the police academy. That's how it works."
"No," she answered, the beginnings of an idea
making her forget the harrowing few minutes she had
just lived through. "I mean unofficially, like an
internship, this summer. Teach us the way you want us
to do it."
"I want you to stay out of police business!" he
retorted, stalking away.
Yet, as the days passed and spring drew to a
close, Trixie refused to give up the idea. Her
argument that she might change her mind about becoming
a detective once she saw what was truly involved
helped sway him, and eventually the mayor consented to
allowing Trixie and Honey to intern on a volunteer
basis at the police station for the summer.
She frowned slightly, closing her eyes as
she remembered other changes that summer had brought to
her life.
"But Jim, we can work this out,"
Trixie protested weakly, knowing within her heart that
her words were not true. Her heart felt as if it were
breaking, and she could see from the look on his face
that his was, too.
"I'm sorry, Trixie," he spoke
softly. His green eyes were wet with unshed tears: the
tears that she wondered if he would ever be able to
shed. "I've lost too many people I love to be able to
handle living with the knowledge that there could come
a day when you wouldn't make it home to me."
She swallowed hard, uncertain as to
which was more overwhelming: the fact that she really
would be constantly risking her life, or the sudden
realization that he had already been contemplating a
day when they would share a home.
"It's just a summer job," she
managed. "Sgt. Molinson won't let me near
anything dangerous."
"No." He shook his head sadly. "This
internship may just be for the summer, but you know
how it always seems so far away when we talk about me
opening a school or you and Honey opening the
agency?"
She nodded slowly.
"It's not so far off anymore,
Trixie. I'm already half-way to my bachelor's degree,
and you, well, you actually have your first job in law
enforcement. The future is almost here."
"It is here, isn't it?" she
asked, blinking back tears of her own. "It's not fair,
Jim. Growing up isn't supposed to hurt this
much."
He gently took her in his arms,
planting a kiss on the top of her head. "Promise me
you'll be careful, Trixie."
"I will," she agreed, torn between
wanting him to let go of her and hoping that he never
would. She looked up at him. "You, too,
okay?"
She sighed. She had loved Jim, but the
feelings she had had for him were nothing like those she
was experiencing now. Tears came to her eyes as she
argued with herself, knowing that she was being foolish.
"You're dreaming, Trixie. You're going to wind up
with a broken heart."
"Daddy!" Erica called out, bringing Trixie
out of her reverie. "Where's Daddy?"
Trixie rapidly left her spot by the
window, noticing for the first time that the wind was
starting to howl rather than whistle through the trees.
She gently sat on the edge of the child's bed, pulling
her into her arms. "Daddy's still at work, munchkin.
Will I do?"
Erica nodded, snuggling into her lap.
"There was a monster after me, Trixie. Don't let it get
me!"
"I won't," she promised her. Almost
instinctively, she soothed back the already tangled
black curls. "I'll keep the monsters away."
"Promise?" Erica asked, her lip quivering.
"It was mean and wanted to eat me!"
"Well, if it comes back, I'll scare
it. How about that?"
"How? It's an awfully big monster! What if
it gets you, too?"
"I'll make it wait until your daddy comes
home, and sic him on it. He takes care of all
the bad guys, you know."
"I know," she smiled sleepily. "Just like
you will one day."
"Shh...." Trixie whispered, realizing the
child was practically asleep again. She moved back so
that she was leaning back against the wall, and the
little girl's arms tightened around her neck. Another
tear slipped down her face as she marveled once again at
how much she had come to love the child she now held in
her arms.
"I can't believe I'm entrusting
you with my daughter," he grumbled. "You do
know what to do, right?"
"Yes, I do!" She assured him,
tenderly taking the infant from him. "You two have fun
tonight, and don't worry. Erica will be fine."
"She better be," he
scowled.
"She will be," Trixie replied
softly. "Ask Heather. She trusts me."
He shook his head in mock
wonderment. "For reasons I'll never understand."
She simply smiled. The lectures of
old had morphed into a familiar habit during the three
years since she had first started working at the
police station, and she knew full well that the
animosity originally present had long since
disappeared. Yet, she was well aware that this was the
first time the new parents had left their daughter
with anyone and that the doting father was
uncharacteristically nervous.
"Come on, Wendell, we'll be late."
Heather Molinson entered the room. "You know Trixie
and Erica will be perfectly all right while we're
gone."
He leaned over to kiss the baby's
head, and then with a final reminder of where they
could be reached, they were gone.
"Well, it's just me and you, Erica.
Think we'll have fun tonight?" Trixie asked, gingerly
sitting down in the rocking chair. The baby gurgled
happily, and she smiled. "Yes, I know we
will."
Lost in her reminscences, it wasn't long
before Trixie drifted off to sleep. The first rays of
dawn were peeking into the room when she awoke, her
limbs stiff and sore from holding Erica for so long.
Shivering at the chill in the air, she snuggled into the
afghan that covered them, her eyes opening wide at the
realization that it was the same afghan she distinctly
remembered leaving in the other room. A deep blush
stained her cheeks, and she carefully maneuvered the
child off of her so that she could get up.
The radio playing softly in the kitchen
let her know that he was in there, and she first slipped
into Erica's small bathroom so that she could look in
the mirror. Her hair was tousled from sleep, and
although she hated the realization that it mattered to
her how he saw her, she took the time to do what she
could to it before going to greet him in the
kitchen.
She found him at the table, and to her
surprise, his head was in his hands. He looked up, and
she could tell his slow smile was forced. She
manufactured a smile of her own. "You should have woken
me."
He shook his head, and the smile lost some
of its falsity as he gestured towards the book that
still lay open on the table. "I don't know which is more
exhausting- Erica or inorganic chemistry."
"She had a nightmare," Trixie explained
softly. "I managed to get her back to sleep, and somehow
fell asleep in the process."
"A nightmare? That's unusual for her."
"I know," she admitted, leaning against
the counter. "Something about a monster after her. Bobby
used to have those dreams when he was her age."
He nodded shortly. "Do you have a few
minutes?"
"Yeah," she agreed, glancing at the clock.
"I don't have chemistry until nine."
He halfway smiled, then moved from the table to stand
beside the window. "Trixie, I think it's time we make
other arrangements for Erica."
Stunned, she stared at her employer, her heart in her
stomach. "What?" she gasped, feeling as if her heart was
literally breaking in two.
"I'm sorry, Trixie," he answered, refusing to turn
his gaze from the window. "I really appreciate all
you've done, but it's time for you to move on. There's
an opening down at the station; with your experience,
you would be a shoe-in."
"Erica loves me, Dell!" she protested. "I love her!"
She bit back the words she wanted to say, "I
love you!"
"I know she does," he admitted softly. "But we both
knew this would be a temporary arrangement."
"We never said that!" she snapped. "I've been taking
care of her since her mother died. Why do you want to
get rid of me now? What did I do?"
"You haven't done anything, Trixie!" he retorted
sharply. "You only have one year left in your degree.
You need the experience you would get at the
station!"
"So you're only concerned for me?" She raised her
eyebrows. "According to Honey, there have been several
openings on dispatch. You never mentioned them before,
so why now?"
"I'm trying to do what's best for all of us," he
stated, finally turning to face her.
She was surprised to see the pain in his eyes,
anguish that so clearly mirrored her own. She softened
her voice and laid her hand on his arm. "Tell me what
happened, Dell. What's wrong?"
He pulled away from her, turning back to the window.
"Nothing that concerns you, Belden."
He had changed so much over the years, and she had
grown accustomed to the gentleness he displayed towards
his daughter. With his change in tone and address, she
suddenly felt as if she were fourteen again and being
unjustly called on the carpet for something she had
done. She strove to keep her voice down so as to not
wake Erica, but she managed to convey her irritation
just the same. "If you're firing me, it most certainly
does concern me! Tell me what changed,
Sergeant!"
His shoulders drooped, although he still wouldn't
look at her. "Trixie, I'm telling you that it is none of
your concern. Now, if you'll excuse me, I had a very
long shift tonight, and I'd like to get some sleep."
"All right," she agreed, with a calmness that she was
far from feeling. "You can either tell me now, or you
can tell me when you wake up. It's all the same to
me."
He turned to her, the expression on his face one she
had never before seen. "All right, do you really want to
know?"
"Yes," she repeated, although she was suddenly
uncertain that she really did.
"No, you don't," he answered her unspoken
question.
She took a deep breath. "Tell me. Please."
"If you insist," he said slowly, turning his gaze
away from her. "It was coming home this morning and
finding you asleep in Erica's room."
"That's suddenly a crime?" she exclaimed in
disbelief. "It was late, and she was having a nightmare!
Anyway, it's never bothered you before!"
"You never looked so much like you belonged there
before!" he retorted.
What if I told you
It was all meant to
be
Her mouth dropped open in a silent "Oh!", and he drew
his hand over his face. "Trixie, you'll never know how
grateful I am that you and Honey stepped in when Heather
died, nor how thankful I am that you've been willing to
help me with Erica for the past three years."
She opened her mouth to speak, but the words died on
her lips as his eyes finally met hers. "I've got to let
you go, for your sake. For my sake."
Her heart pounding, she finally found her voice.
"What if I don't want to go?"
Would you believe me,
Would you agree
"You don't understand." He closed his eyes. "You're
not a teenager anymore, Trixie Belden. You're a grown
woman."
"Then why do I suddenly feel seventeen again?"
she wondered as she took another deep breath. She
stepped closer to him. "I think I do understand."
"No, you don't." Despite his words, he moved closer
to her, lightly placing his hands on her arms.
It's almost that feelin'
That we've met
before
She closed her eyes at his touch and tried to will
her heart to slow its frantic beating. "Yes, I do."
"No, you don't."
"Breathe, Trixie!" she reminded herself,
beginning to tremble when she sensed him moving even
closer. "Yes, I do."
So tell me that you don't think I'm crazy
When I tell you love has come here and
now...
She instinctively raised her hands to his shoulders,
and his arms enfolded her, pulling her to him. "No, you
don't."
Her answering retort died on her lips as he covered
them with his own. Her pain and anger melted away as his
kiss filled her reality.
Some people wait a lifetime for a
moment like this
Some people search forever for that
one special kiss
I can't believe it's happening to
me
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like
this
He continued to hold her tightly in his
arms as the kiss ended, pulling away just far enough to
look into her eyes.
She fought against the urge to look away and met his
gaze with her own. "I told you I understood," she
whispered.
He chuckled low in his throat, bending again to kiss
the bridge of her nose. "Do you always have to
have the last word?"
Her eyes twinkled as she nodded, but then she
sobered. "So what does this mean, Dell?"
He slowly released her, although he didn't turn away.
"I'm sorry, Trixie. As much as I want it, we both know
this can't happen."
"I know," she admitted, trying not to think of how
much she wanted to run back into his arms. "But it
has."
"Yes, it has."
For a long moment, neither of them spoke, then he
turned and walked out of the room. Trixie sank down into
one of the kitchen chairs, unable to hold back her tears
when she heard him speaking into the telephone.
He came back into the room a few minutes later and
sat down beside her. "Look at me, Trixie."
It took every thing she had to comply. She tried to
sound sarcastic, even though her heart was broken. "Was
one more night with Erica too much to ask?"
He reached over and took her hand in his. "This time,
you really don't understand, Trixie. You have
other plans tonight."
She felt a faint glimmer of hope as he wiped away her
tears with his handkerchief. "Do I?"
"Let me rephrase that." Her heart flipped as he
smiled, and she suddenly realized that she had, in fact,
not been asked to work that night. "I hope you
have other plans for this evening."
"What kind of plans?" she asked, hoping she was more
successful in her attempt to make her voice sound light
than in her attempt at sarcasm.
"Well, I was thinking dinner, and maybe a movie?"
Her hand felt warm in his as she nodded. "I- I'd like
that."
"Trixie, we both know this won't be easy," he spoke
softly. "But do you want to try?"
Images of her family and friends flashed through her
mind, and she knew that a relationship with him would
never be easy. Yet, the thought of life without him was
infinitely worse. "I do."
Could this be the greatest love of all
I
wanna know that you will catch me when I fall
So let
me tell you this...
He leaned towards her, taking her in his arms. "Are
you sure?"
"I'm sure," she whispered. She met his gaze, then
closed her eyes as she lost herself in his tender
kiss.
Some people wait a lifetime
For a moment like
this
Some people spent two lifetimes,
For a
moment like this
Some people search forever,
For
that one special kiss
Oh, I can't believe it's
happening to me
Some people wait a lifetime,
For
a moment like this
Author's Notes: Many thanks are due to
Cyndi, not only for editing, but also for insisting that
I write this story. Much gratitude is also due to those
who read and enjoyed Emily, despite the
unexpected pairing, and to all of you at Jix for
tolerating my little flights of fancy. J Song
lyrics (and my title) are taken from Kelly Clarkson's
A Moment Like This and are used without
permission.
